Joke Coaching
When Fear Meets Absurdity
Janet worked in a large company where she managed sixty-five employees. Many worked remotely; the ones who worked locally were obliged to come into the office three days a week. Janet ran countless meetings, both live and online, where she demonstrated a calm strength that helped explain why she had risen to this management position.
But what she really loved was doing stand-up comedy—which she pretty much couldn’t, because of her stage fright.
She discussed this with her newly-hired performance anxiety coach.
“You can lead meetings with no anxiety?” the coach inquired.
“Yes.”
“But performing stand-up puts you in a panic? Even if the audience is tiny?”
“Worse, if the audience is tiny.”
“That’s, what, three minutes of performing?”
“My set is eight minutes.”
“Which you can rehearse and memorize and perfect?”
“Yes.”
“This is very mysterious, isn’t it? Anxiety is very peculiar. One person might be able to jump out of planes but be scared of spiders. Another person might be able to give a perfect lecture on atomic physics but have trouble giving a toast at his daughter’s wedding. Why we get anxious and what makes us anxious … it’s one of the great riddles, isn’t it?”
“And? What do I do?”
“Let’s skip right over all the usual approaches. We could examine what the word ‘performance’ means to you and how, as soon as you use that word, you get anxious. We could look at other bits of self-talk and see if what you’re saying to yourself is making you anxious. We could co-create an entrance ritual that helps you come on stage calm and strong. We could do the ‘visualize them naked’ thing or what’s called systematic desensitization, which is a fancy way of saying, let’s figure out some baby steps to take. Then there’s the paradoxical one, where we try to make you even more anxious, until you start laughing at the whole thing. Let’s skip over all of those.”
“Okay.”
“So, here’s what we’ll try. Let’s have you do your set for your group at work.”
Janet stared at her coach in amazement. “That has got to be--”
“The craziest idea you’ve ever heard? Exactly.”
“I couldn’t--”
“Let’s do some more skipping. Let’s skip right over all the reasons you couldn’t do that or shouldn’t do that. Here we are, skipping right over them. Do your set for them on Monday. Okay?”
“We don’t come into the office until Tuesday--”
“Then Tuesday. Okay?”
“Do I--”
“Let’s do some more skipping. Let’s skip over all the details. Let’s just agree. You’ll be doing your set for the group on Tuesday. Agreed?”
Janet sat there, dumbfounded. Then, suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“You’ve been joking the whole time, haven’t you?” Janet said, smiling. “This is joke coaching, right?”
“Have I?”
Had she? What do you think?
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With Brave New Mind, Eric Maisel delivers a compelling and timely guide for navigating mental health in our anxiety‑fueled age. Its blend of clarity, depth, and usable tools creates a powerful toolkit—not just for surviving stress, but for forging a more calm, purposeful, and resilient way of living.
It’s not about seeking escape; it’s about crafting a mind equal to the demands of today. If you’re ready to face fear, anxiety, and uncertainty with presence and meaning, this is a book to lean into.
