Very Supportive
Exploring the subtle difference between a partner who cheers from the sidelines and one who truly clears the path for your passion.
Dawn was chatting with her creativity coach, with whom she met online monthly. They were chatting about this and that—primarily her lack of creative output, her lack of motivation, and her disappointment that time kept flying by without her moving her art forward—when the subject of Dawn’s husband came up.
“My husband is very supportive of my creative efforts,” Dawn said. “I’m very lucky!”
“You are,” Belinda replied. “Some husbands are the exact opposite.”
“Yes,” Dawn agreed. “I only have to contribute my fair share to the household income.”
Belinda raised her eyebrows. “Ah,” she said. “What does that mean exactly?”
“Well, that I hold down a full-time job, that I pull my weight, and that I restrict painting to the weekends—to most weekends, when we don’t have other plans.”
“So, you don’t paint during the week?”
“No. That’s not part of our arrangement. I also have to cook, of course.”
“Ah. So, you only get to paint a few days a month?”
“Probably five or six.”
“Ah. I see. And your husband’s income … that isn’t enough for the two of you to live on?” Belinda continued. “Your full-time job is essential, financially speaking?”
“Oh, no. He makes a huge salary. But it’s important that I pull my weight.”
“Hm. That’s important to you? Or to him?”
“To both of us.”
“And … you’re calling this arrangement ‘supportive’?”
“Yes. Overall, he’s very supportive.”
Belinda hesitated. Should she say what she was thinking? Should she chide Dawn, or maybe lecture her, or maybe invite her to visualize a different arrangement, or maybe provide her with a journal prompt, maybe something like, “If I didn’t have a full-time job, I would …”?
She had a thought.
“I’m curious,” she said. “When you come home from a trip and need to be picked up from the airport, does he pick you up?”
“Always!”
“On time.”
“Oh, he’s always late. But, because you can count on that, it’s really no problem.”
“So, you wait there at … where? … at baggage claim?”
“Yes. I read something on my Kindle.”
“Yes. And why is he always late?”
“He’s very busy. But … I guess you could say, it’s his style.”
“To keep you waiting at the baggage claim?”
“Well, not to keep me waiting. But to run a little late.”
Belinda nodded. “Well, I guess it’s good that he comes and gets you.”
“Yes. He wouldn’t want me to get into a car with some strange driver. Or do too many things alone. He’s very supportive!”
“This may actually connect to the painting,” Belinda said, preparing herself to speak her mind. “Because, being alone in your studio may be one of those things that he doesn’t really like very much. Does that seem possible?”
Dawn considered that possibility. “Well, he is very supportive,” she said after a while. “He really is. But, you know … ”
Belinda waited. Maybe something was happening.
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